George Carlin on Dogs

  What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job! Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch. A dog has no shame. If he can do it, you can watch. Your dog thinks you’re a god. Your cat thinks the dog’s an asshole. […]

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Terrific Stove!

“A photographer went to a socialite party in New York. As he entered the front door, the host said ‘I love your pictures – they’re wonderful; you must have a fantastic camera.’ He said nothing until dinner was finished, then: ‘That was a wonderful dinner; you must have a terrific stove.’ ” Sam Haskins – […]

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Can’t Have It All!

  “You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?”   Steven Wright autobiography from his website: I was born. When I was 23 I started telling jokes. Then I started going on television and doing films. That’s still what I am doing. The end. Steven Wright Biography

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